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asexyrainbow:

breelandwalker:

feliciakainz:

carryonmywaywardalpaca:

dearborns:

#how many times have I quoted this in my lifetime #far too many and still not enough

Guys, btw, this is an actual insult

if he calls your mother a hamster, it indicates that she is a fast-breeding rodent— you can get the insult there

and if he says your father smelt of elderberries, well, wine was primarily made from elderberries in the time of king arthur. he’s calling his dad a drunk

more you know

And this is why Monty Python rules.

Incessantly. 

(Source: redlight--district)

(Source: sizvideos)

zagreus-taking-time-apart:

steampoweredsass:

zagreus-taking-time-apart:

We teach kids to fear animals like rats, snakes, spiders, etc. that are harmless 99% of the time but do we ever warn them about the real danger

image

WHY DOES IT HAVE TEETH ON ITS TONGUE

I am a gooseologist and I can tell you that geese live on a healthy diet of children’s souls which can only be properly chewed with unholy tongue teeth

brave-escape:

why is your dog tall enough to be in the nba

brave-escape:

why is your dog tall enough to be in the nba

(Source: tastefullyoffensive)

(Source: gaarrus)

I can’t lose this fight.

meatbicyclevevo:

thetowndrugdealer:

precumming:

I JUST PUT MY SHIRT ON AND THERE WAS A SPIDER IN IT!!!!!!!!

or did you just put a shirt on that a spider was already wearing?

thats so rude

umbreon-ite:

Ah yes, the flute

umbreon-ite:

Ah yes, the flute

theseductivemexican:

akapale:

lanactrlaltdelrey:

straight guys in gay porn like “ive never had a dick in me before”

image

I AM FUCKING CRYING OH MY GOD

HAHAHA

(Source: versaceslut)